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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Imperfect Scores - A Worship Leader's Devotion

You may notice that I've been a little slow on updating my blog. I'm sorry about that. The past few months have been very hectic. When I decided to check in on the statistics and saw over 25,000 readers around the world, I realized that I need to get back to writing. You can expect more regular updates from now on. 

In the meantime, here is a worship devotional from my co-authored book, Times of Refreshing. Hopefully it will bring a smile and a word of inspiration to your day. 


Imperfect Scores
Arlen Salte

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  1 John 4:18

It was my first recording session with an orchestra.  I was 21.  Writing for an orchestra wasn’t exactly a skill that I’d picked up playing the Rolling Stones songs in my rock band days.  Mick Jagger could certainly pout and prance but I don’t think he cared too much for the oboe.
The moment of truth arrived when the orchestra showed up.  They filled the studio, took their chairs, tuned their instruments and started looking at the score I had written.  They ran through the pieces.   The lush sounds gave me goose bumps.  I was in heaven. 
But something was about to suddenly change my mood.  These fabulous players couldn’t control themselves any longer.  Laughter came rolling through the expensive microphones.  The conductor showed me that I had placed the stems on the wrong sides of many of the notes.  Needless to say, this was the last time I transcribed my parts by hand for an orchestra. 
Quite frankly, I was so embarrassed that day that I wanted to pack in the entire idea of music.  I had shown my ignorance in front of all these awarded musicians.  
But I take great courage in the following true story.
There was a man who desperately wanted to be a conductor.  He put his very heart and soul into it.  During soft passages, he would signal the orchestra by crouching low.  During loud passages he’d leap into the air with enthusiasm.  He’d even shout to the orchestra in excitement.
But despite his passion, he was not exactly blessed with a great memory.  In concert he once forgot that he had instructed the orchestra not to repeat a section.  As instructed, the orchestra didn’t repeat the section.  He lost his temper, yelling at the orchestra for not repeating the section.   He was horribly embarrassed!
For his very own piano concerto, he tried conducting from the piano.  He thought he could do it all.  At one moment in the concert, he leaped from the piano bench, knocking the candles from the piano.  At another concert, he knocked over a choirboy.
His hearing started to rapidly deteriorate which left him with even bigger challenges.  Not only did he have a bad memory, a clumsy body and a poorly controlled temperament; now he couldn’t hear well.  It got so bad that the orchestra started to get their cues from the first violinist, rather than from the inept conductor.
After great pleas from the musicians to give up conducting, he finally gave up and went home. 
His name; Ludwig Van Beethoven. 
While he is one of the greatest composers the world has ever known, he was a failure as a conductor.  But this did not make him a failure as a person.  He pushed beyond his fear of failure to take on new challenges and the world is richer for it.
One of the most inhibiting fears is the fear of failure.  This is the fear that has stopped great moments throughout human history. 
This may also be a fear that has stopped you from taking new steps in your ministry.  Maybe you have become constricted because you failed before.  Maybe you tried to play by ear before and it sounded like you actually were playing with your ears.  Maybe you stretched out to try a vocal solo but that little hormonal demon of adolescence made you yodel instead. 
Or maybe you wrote orchestral arrangements for an album but you put the stems on the wrong sides of the notes.
Whatever your past failures may be, they may have limited your reach.  Now, God is asking you to take great new strides.  Yet you fear the embarrassment of past failure so much that you remain in your comfort zone.
This is why it is so important to ground our ministries in God’s love and not in legalism.  We need to know that whether our efforts gain great applause or rotten tomatoes, God’s view of us does not change.  His love is with us no matter what side we have placed the stems of the notes on.  This gives us freedom to try new things in ministry, knowing that we will never be viewed as a failure in the eyes of God.
In our Bible verse today, we see that there is no fear in love.  God’s love sets us free to spread our wings and to face the possibility of failure head on.  Perfect love drives out fear.  When we know that we are perfectly loved by the creator and sustainer of all life, the highest authority in the universe, the one who holds planets in their orbits; we are freed to take great steps of faith.  When we know that our failure in the eyes of the “crowd” is really nothing to fear at all, then we are free to stretch.
Who knows how many great songs or poems or voices have gone to their graves because of a fear of failure?
But as a child of God, you have been given a new authority in ministry. God is waiting for His children to step out in the authority that comes with the gift of grace.  Do you have past failures that are holding you back?  In God, there are always new beginnings.  
Today, I challenge you to live in the reality of God’s grace. Step out of your comfort zone. Spread your wings, knowing that God’s perfect love for you drives out the fear of failure.  Have you been challenged to learn how to sing alto?  Do you need to dust off that old Hofner Beetle bass from the ‘60’s?   Take the step.
I still have those original orchestral scores in my files but now I don’t look at them with shame.  I see them as another step taken in the reality of God’s grace.  Every day, we’re called on to write imperfect scores.  God wants to use the ink of your life poured out for others.  Let’s get writing!

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